


Em's a Badas Sonraun

by EagerAloofPoet



Category: Clexa-fandom, The 100 (TV)
Genre: Canon Related, F/F, canonverse, i was robbed of winter time clexa, so here's a non-christmas-christmas-y-one-shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-11 20:40:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12943431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EagerAloofPoet/pseuds/EagerAloofPoet
Summary: events take place between the end of 3x05 and the beginning of 3x06 (but with snow!)





	Em's a Badas Sonraun

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for any mistakes. I was rushing to get this out in time for the holiday. (BTW happy xmas to those who celebrate and to those who don't happy clexa! ^-^)

Clarke nervously watched the exchange between Indra and Lexa. She knew going into the commander's tent and challenging everything the grounders stood for on the back of a massacre started by Skaikru was nothing short of a hail-mary; but for her people, she had to at least try.  
  
The tension in the candle-lit tent was so thick, it created a heat that directly contrasted the sharp coldness that was biting outside.

Clarke could see the frustration that was coursing through Lexa as she continued to sharply glare at Indra.

"...Will you defy me?"  

 

"No Heda. I will not." 

"Then let it be known..." Lexa then slowly turned to address Clarke. "Blood must not have blood."

Clarke physically felt her shoulders deflate as the tension she had been baring rolled off her. Lexa had agreed. She gave a small but grateful nod towards the commander. Once again, she managed to buy her people more time.

"Indra, let the armies know to stand down and not to march any further on Arkadia. I will be heading back to Polis to discuss these matters with the coalition."

"Sha Heda."

Indra was slow to rise and Clarke winced guiltily when she got another look at the warrior's injured shoulder. 

The proud woman would never show she was in pain, but Clarke knew even after she had cleaned and dressed the wound, that it would still hurt for some time.

She witnessed Indra give a slight bow with respect to her Heda before departing the tent. Leaving her alone with Lexa for the first time since the night after the leader's fight with Roan. 

Clarke furrowed her brow as she noticed the tension still laced in the commander's body. Usually, when it was just the two of them, Lexa would loosen her rigid posture ever so slightly. It was a gesture that Clarke didn't catch at first, but she found it comforting to know that Lexa generally felt a little more at ease around her. Now though, she could see the woman's jaw grinding back and forth as she paced in very small circles about the tent; another one of Lexa's tell-tale signs that she was on edge. 

"You're worried."

Lexa let out a heavy sigh before turning back to face Clarke.

"Yes."

"Peace is the right choice Lexa."

"That may be so...but it won't make explaining my decision to the twelve clans any easier."

"Do you think they will try and stage another coup?"

Clarke felt an uncomfortable churn in her stomach at the thought. She knew Lexa was a skilled fighter. Watching her defeat Roan and kill the Ice queen a mere twenty-four hours ago left no doubt in her mind, but that did not mean she was ready to see Lexa battle for her life nor her title again anytime soon.  

"The Kongeda is not that foolish. They wouldn't dare call for my removal so soon after Nia's death."

"Then why are you worried about telling them?"

She knew it was the wrong thing to say as soon as the sentence left her mouth. Lexa's eyes began to narrow and her voice took on a fiercer quality.

"I am changing a century's worth of tradition Clarke. I must not only reassure the coalition, but the spirit of the commander's as well."

"You said the spirit's choose wisely. Surely they would agree with their chosen Heda."

Clarke's attempt at bringing levity to the situation fell flat as she watched Lexa inhale deeply through her nose to once again turn away from the blonde to resume her pacing.

She could tell Lexa was not in the mood for her teasing. The woman had just done her and her people a major favor so she decided to try a different approach.

She slowly encroached upon the commander's personal space to block the route of her nervous strides.

"Lexa...Thank you."

Lexa stopped short at that and her facial features began to soften. She gave a slow short nod in acknowledgment.

The silence stretched on as the two leaders stared at one another. Just when Clarke though that Lexa was about to say something Indra walked back in the tent; turning the commander's attention towards her.

"Heda. Your orders have been met. The armies are pulling back from Arkadia. Do we leave for Polis now or do we ride at first light?"

"Has snow begun to fall?"

"Not yet Heda, but soon. I expect no less than a candle mark from now."

"Then we shall depart before then. Ready the horses."

"Sha Heda."

Indra had barely left the tent when Clarke was already moving to gain Lexa's attention again. 

"You want to leave now? In the middle of the night? Is that safe?"

"With the threat of the mountain and Nia gone, there are no immediate dangers. It's best to leave now while the grounds are clear and easier to trek through. We would not want to get caught in winter's storm. Snow may seem to fall gracefully at times, but like anything else, it can bring devastation. The animals that prowl at night would be too scared to approach my army; unless of course you believe Skaikru should ambush us on our way to Polis."

Clarke was about to hastily reply in defense of her people when she caught a glimpse of mirth dancing in Lexa's eyes. Apparently, the commander had a bit of mockery in her as well.

Clarke rolled her eyes at the brunette.

"You know if you don't count seeing a blanket of white ice from thousands of miles up in space, or the artificial stuff you see in the movies, I've never really seen snow before."

The commander cocked her head to the side in confusion.

"Movies?"

"Oh, right. In the old world, before the bombs, there would be these moving pictures that people would watch for entertainment or to tell stories. We had some old films saved on the Ark. My dad and I would always watch old sport matches or Christmas movies. That was the only way I could see snow falling before."

"I suppose without the constant fear or threat of war, people had plenty of time on their hands to engage in such things."

Clarke knew Lexa meant it in a matter-of-fact way, but she couldn't help but feel it was a dig at a pastime she so loved to share with her father.

"It wasn't just a way to kill time Lexa. These stories were an escape from people's day to day lives. I guess that's why my father liked the Christmas ones so much; they always had a happy ending."

"And what is this Christmas you have been speaking of?"

"It was an old religious holiday that some people use to celebrate before the bombs fell. There were many different religions and beliefs then. Not everybody worshipped the same God or spirit..."

"What do you believe?"

"I don't. They're just stories."

"But they were once important to you. So you must have believed in some degree to care about them."

There was a question not so subtly hidden in the statement that Clarke wasn't sure how to answer. She didn't know why she was talking about _this_ of all things with the commander. Especially when there were a million other matters of importance to discuss; but Lexa was looking at her with such genuine curiosity that the words just came tumbling out of her.

"There was one story in particular that my Dad loved. We watched it every year. It was about a poor hardworking man who always did what was best for his town's people. He never got to live his dream of traveling the world. He always stayed to help his family or friends, even at the cost of his own happiness. He was a good man and when his business started to fail, even despite his best efforts, he wishes he had never been born."

"True leader's must always sacrifice their own happiness for the good of their people. We can not change the past or what fate decides for us."

"That's just it though; In the story the man get's a guardian angel who grants his wish and he sees what life would have been like if he was never born. He realizes how many lives he has changed and impacted for the better. That his life is a gift that he shouldn't throw away."

"This man needed a guardian to teach him that lesson? Did all citizens of the old world have access to their own angel, or was this a privilege reserved only for their leaders?"

Clarke knew she was most likely in over her head with these things, but it was her own fault for bringing it up.

"These beliefs date back thousands of years. I'm not sure about the particulars but some people believed that there were angels from the sky that would watch over them and protect them; if they prayed hard enough they would help them through difficult times. Like I said, this was just a movie. None of it was real, it was a made-up story. But that's my dad for you, always believing the impossible was possible."

Clarke paid close attention to Lexa's face to try and get a read on the woman's thoughts when she noticed a slight upturn in the brunette's cheeks; followed by a sigh that faintly resembled the sound of a brief chuckle. But she couldn't have heard right.

"What is it?"

"You find these stories impossible yet you don't realize that you have done everything you just claimed was fiction."

Clarke scoffed at that.

"I'm not an angel Lexa. Angel of death maybe..."

"Clarke. Have you not helped your people time and time again? Did you not fall from the sky to protect and save them? To show them a better way?"

Lexa was speaking with so much conviction that Clarke found it impossible to keep gazing into the forest green of her eyes.

"Trust me Lexa." She muttered to the floor. "I am not the answer to anyone's prayers."

She didn't wait for a response as she exited the tent with her head down. Not conscious of the look that clung to her departing figure.

                                                                                                                 ❄ ❅ ❆

Clarke thought she had known what cold was before. Although the Ark generally kept the same regulated temperature at all times, her cell in isolation had felt frigid and unforgiving. She would often times do push-ups to maintain her bone density and to create some warmth in her body when she could not find any. 

Even since landing on Earth she had experienced chilly nights, but none of that has compared to the borderline hypothermic frost she feels right now atop her horse.

All her previous talks about religion and angels and spirits with Lexa left her silently praising a god that she didn't believe in and thanking them for not letting her dropship land in Azgeda territory. She couldn't even fathom how the citizen's of ice nation dealt with a far harsher climate on a day-to-day basis.

Looking around she noticed that neither Lexa nor her army seemed fazed by the freezing sub temperatures. Lexa had even offered her one of her coats prior to mounting their horses, but she had turned her down as not to seem weak in front of her army. She still represented Skarikru after all.  

She almost cried out in relief when she spotted the unmistakable tower of Polis in all her glory.

As they approached the gates she felt a damp wetness on her nose and forehead. The last thing she needed was for it to rain on top of her already painfully shivering body. She glanced up at the sky only to realize that it was not rain that had graced her skin, but flakes of white snow. 

No movie, painting, or book could depict the beauty she was currently witnessing blanket the earth like a child before bed.

She didn't think anything would beat the feeling of breathing in fresh air for the first time, of the wind running through her hair, or water lapping at her skin. But _this_ , this was an entirely different sensation all on its own.

She hadn't noticed that she had pulled her horse to a stop until a warrior bumped into her and muttered what she sure was an insult under his breath.

She couldn't stop smiling as she watched the snow continually kiss her skin and pile up on the trees and ground around her. 

When she finally tore her blatant gaping away from the sky, she locked eyes with an adorning Lexa; who was trying to hide a sheepish smile.

The commander's mask was quickly replaced as she issued orders for the armies to dismount and disperse throughout the city.

Clarke was slow to move off her horse as she was still fascinated the winter phenomenon that was currently happening.

Lexa must have noticed her hesitancy because instead of heading inside the tower she made her way back over to where Clarke was standing.

"Is everything alright?"

"Yes. I just wish I had a sketchbook or something to paint with so I could save this memory forever."

"Winter will be here for a while Wanheda. I can't say the same for the coalition."

Both leaders turned at the sound of Titus furiously marching over to the pair.

"Heda the council must speak to you at once! The rumors of jus no drein jus daun have spread before I could stop it."

"They are not rumors Titus. That is my command."

"Heda this is sacrilegious! This is-"

"Enough Titus. We have been riding all night; surely your concerns can wait until sun-up. Which will be here shortly."

"Heda I've already told the council that you would ease their worries. Now that we know this is not just a rumor they will demand to have an explanation."

Lexa let out a heavy sigh as she turned away from Titus to face Clarke.

"Clarke. It seems I have matters I must attend to. I hope you find the room that you were previously staying in suitable for the rest of your stay."

"Yes, thank you Heda."

Lexa spared Clarke a quick longing glance before making her way inside the tower with Titus. 

Leaving Clarke to bask in her winter wonderland before duty could once again come knocking.

                                                                                                                    ❄ ❅ ❆

Clarke awoke to the sound of three sharp knocks rapping at her chamber door. She was so exhausted from traveling that she had collapsed on her old bed without removing a single article of clothing. 

She quickly jumped out of bed and swapped the dirty jacket and shirt she wore from last night with a long-sleeved comfortable blue tunic.

She tried to make herself seem presentable as she opened the bedroom door to be greeted by a tall and rather stout guard.

"Wanheda. Heda has asked me to deliver this to you."

The guard deposited a notebook with black leather binding into her hands.

Curiously, Clarke flipped through the pages and noticed that they were all blank.

When she looked up at the guard expectantly he reached into his pocket and pulled out a brown cloth.

"She also asked that you receive this as well."

Clarke unraveled the cloth to find perfectly sharpened charcoal pencils. She felt her cheeks flush as a spike of warmth flooded directly at her heart's center.

"Tell me. Where is Heda now?"

"She is in her private quarters."

"Show me to her room please."

"The Fleimkepa has ordered for her not to be disturbed."

"You let me deal with the fleimkepa. _Wanheda_ would like to speak to Heda."

"Sha Wanheda."

Clarke was only slightly embarrassed when she followed the guard for about twelve feet, only to come to stop at a door that looked similar to her own.

"We have arrived Wanheda."

Why Clarke was only just now noticing that there were but two rooms on this entire floor was something she did not want to dwell on.

To get out of the hallway as soon as possible without embarrassing herself further, she barged into Lexa's room without knocking or sparing a glance back at a satisfied looking guard.

She had barely made it through the threshold of the door to close it shut before she saw Lexa spring off her sofa to come rushing to her aid.

"Clarke!? What's wrong? Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine. I just wanted to thank you for the gift you gave me."

She waved the notebook in front of her face to emphasize the reason for her visit.

She watched Lexa's whole body sag in relief, and the over-expressive gesture caught Clarke by surprise.

She scanned Lexa's face and noticed how bloodshot and tired her eyes appeared.

"Lexa. Have you gotten any sleep since we first arrived?"

"The Kongeda had many questions. Titus also wanted me to re-read the history of the commander's. So I could remind myself of what my legacy and birthright mean to my people.

It was only then that Clarke noticed the thick black book that Lexa had laid on a table full of an illogical amount of candles before she had scurried over to check on her. 

"Lexa. You need to rest."

"In due time."

As Lexa reached down to pick up the book, Clarke took in the commander's room for the first time.

Nothing was out of place. There wasn't much hanging on the walls or anything overly flashy or grandeur. Except for the massive bed with ornate wood carvings that lay on the other side of the room. It was the most comfortable and inviting looking piece of furniture that she had ever seen before. Clarke did not know how Lexa pulled herself out of that massive pile of furs every day to deal with wars, clans, and politics.

She quickly pushed those thoughts out of her head as she turned to look at the other side of the room to see a balcony with a view very much like the one she shares in her own room. Sunlight was filtering in through the open windows and though snow was still lightly falling, the cold did not reach the inside of the room. The abundance of candles was no doubt helping to regulate the temperature.

Clarke continued surveying the rest of the room as her eyes stopped on an easel tucked away in the corner.

"You paint?"

Lexa had been silently watching Clarke take in little pieces of herself before she followed the blonde's gaze to the wooden art fixture in the back of her room.

"I have always been fascinated with the process, but no I am not an artist."

Clarke was going to leave it at that when Lexa answered the unspoken question. "Costia."

"I would have liked to have seen some of her art."

"She was very gifted. Unfortunately, she did not get to showcase it often."

"I am sure she had lot's of inspiration though; the view from up here is gorgeous."

"You are welcome to draw in here anytime you wish."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"So even during war, I'm allowed to hide away in here and create art."

"I thought our new ways meant we would bring an end to war Clarke kom Skaikru."

Clarke was happily surprised that Lexa was participating in her playful banter instead of giving her a lecture on strong minds again. She was glad that at least some of Titus' teachings hadn't completely gone to her head.

"What about now?"

"Yes. Now is fine."

Lexa then moved to sit on her sofa as she opened the thick book that was now on her lap to about the halfway point.

"Lexa I was kidding. You should really get some rest."

"It is fine Clarke. You will not disturb my reading."

She noticed Lexa fully recline on the leather upholstery as she made herself more comfortable.

Clarke then moved to perch herself on the chair opposite of Lexa and pulled out one of her charcoal utensils.

As Clarke familiarized herself with the feel of pen on paper she didn't realize how much time had gotten away from her. It was only when she noticed that Lexa had fully succumbed to her battle with sleep that Clarke felt her cheeks spread into a smile.

Lexa looked so peaceful. She had really never seen the commander more at ease before this moment. 

Her limbs flew on their own accord and the next thing she knew she was starting to draw an outline of the green-eyed warrior.

Looking at her, free of warpaint or shoulder pauldrons, with her brown curls cascading down her shoulders, Clarke started to wonder if angels really do exist.

And maybe they are the ones in most need of guarding. 

                                                                                                                   ❄ ❅ ❆

_Fin_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> In case it wasn't obvious the movie being referenced is "it's a wonderful life"; which is the title of the fic in trig. Thanks for reading :)


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